Eleven Reasons Why I Will Never be Nominated “MOTHER OF THE YEAR”

1) I’m currently snacking on my kids Easter chocolate while I write and when they get home from school and ask why the bag is light, I already have plans to deny that I had anything to do with it.

2) I don’t save every single project/assignment that comes through the door with their names written on it.

3) I gave my daughter a high-five for punching an older boy in the nose after he put his hands on her first.

4) Sometimes I laugh when they fall before I can ask if they’re alright.

5) I’m addicted to zombie movies and my kids have a tendency to sneak and watch bits and pieces of whatever I’m watching until they get caught and I send them to their rooms. They did this while I was indulging in a terrible Netflix B-movie the other day. When bedtime came, they were afraid of course, but knowing WHY they were afraid, I refused to let them sleep in my room. To me, that was an opportunity to teach them a lesson…..

6) My son used to do what we refer to in our household as the “Naked shut-eye” dance whenever he was nude. He’d take off his clothes for his bath and shimmy while saying “NAKED SHUT-EYE! NAKED SHUT-EYE!” (Don’t ask me what that means LOL). But yeah….I laughed instead of correcting him. Every time.

7) My six year-old is already a “mean girl”. While watching me put on my makeup the other day, she says to me, “Mommy! Don’t put too much of that black stuff on your eyes! Only clowns wear it like that!” Followed by, “Don’t put your glasses back on! Noooooooooo! They’re so last week!”

8) While at a new doctor’s office for our first visit, the doctor politely asks my son what his name is. My son’s response? “Boy”. This could’ve been from me repeating such phrases as: “Boy, stop running!” or “Boy, leave that candle alone!” on a fairly regular basis.

9) I hate parent-teacher conferences (but I go).

10) I’m trying to trick my oldest into continuing to believe in Santa Claus because her NOT believing anymore makes me feel old.

11) I slip and make crude “That’s what she said!” jokes in front of them more often than I care to admit.

One of these days in the very near future they’re gonna catch on and realize that I’m only human….just like them 🙂 None of us are perfect. We have to learn to laugh at the minor mistakes that we’re all bound to make as parents, grow with our children, and pray that they’re better at this than we are LOL!



Posted on April 23, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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